The Teacher

I've decided to tell this story from two different points of view. The first, will be mine and how I thought everything happened. The second will be what I heard from my friends. Here we go.

We got a late start on things tonight, probably didn't arrive at the club till around midnight-ish. In typical fashion, however, I don't show up sober. Neither do my friends. It's a nice night out and the patio is open at this bar/club. And it was hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock inside from all the people making an ass of themselves dancing. I'm not having fun at this point, about an hour in. It's 1 a.m. and there are no attractive females around. I decided to make them attractive.

I start talking to these girls and find out they are 28 and one of them is a kindergarten teacher. I ask her things like "Do you beat the kids?" and "Don't you hate the little fuckers?". Surprisingly, she did hate the little fuckers, I guess. The next thing I know I am in the back of her car driving with her and her friend to another bar. My friends I was with are following us. I am scared shitless because they wouldn't let Biggie into the car with me, I was assured I was going to get female-raped. I don't think I said a word the whole car ride, at least from what I recall.

I get a text from Biggie saying they aren't following anymore because it was too far. Great, now I'm with two girls, can't remember there name, much less mine, and I am a good 45 minutes away from my house. We arrive at the bar and I show the bouncer my school ID, he tries not to let me in, but somehow I got in. This still perplexes me as to how I got in, but I did so fuck it. At the bar Teacher and Short Friend buy me a drink and Teacher tell me to meet her in the bathroom in a few minutes- The women's bathroom.

I buy Short Friend a shot and one for myself and then go.I go in and the girl gets on her knees in the stall and starts ripping off my pants. In short, She gave me a BJ. We finished and I immediately leave and find a cab without saying goodbye. I get a ride back to another bar my friends were at and that was that. Or so I thought.

Here's what my friends told me.

I was talking to these girls and I started buying shots for everybody, but no one wanted them. So my friend, Joo, and myself start doing them. Shot....Shot...Shot...and...Shot. I pester the girl to dance, but she declines and I start swearing at her, saying she was ugly and didn't want to dance anyways. But somehow we ended up on the dance floor (which I don't believe because I HATE dancing), and I looked like a wet noodle. Arms wavingn in the air, no regard for anything or anybody. The bouncer asked the girl to get me out of there. I thought I was just being smooth and left with her. And that is how I ended up in her car. And when I arrived at the bar after the BJ I gave the cabbie driver a fake ID and ran.

$45 cab ride, free. I also got confirmation that Teacher was not ugly or fat.

Sweet.